Eleven Years

Today my oldest daughter, Morgan Elizabeth, is 11 years old.  She’s smart, talented, loves music and Taekwondo, an avid reader and something of an introvert.  She has her father’s looks and my attitude, which often makes me cringe.  She loves animals and has wanted to be a veterinarian as long as she could articulate the idea of a future career.  I know that when she grows up we will be great friends.

In a way it seems like only yesterday that she came into our lives, and my husband Kent and I couldn’t imagine life without her.  But in another way, our world before we had a child seems like a lifetime ago and it’s hard to believe we were ever the people we used to be.  She caught us off guard, and forced us to make some hard choices.

Finding out I was pregnant terrified me, and then it made me angry.  My self-centeredness screamed that my life was over, that I’d no longer be able to do any of the things I’d planned.  I was going to be stuck with a marriage I wasn’t happy in and being young and carefree was not an option anymore.

When the shock subsided, I was happy.  And nervous.  I started taking care of myself, but as this was not planned I was scared of things I had done in the early weeks of my pregnancy and how they might affect my baby.  I became one of those pregnancy women that didn’t touch caffeine or alcohol or lift anything over 15 lbs; I followed every recommendation the doctor gave me.  Kent worked to get his life on track too, and we focused on making ourselves ready to be a family.  This was NOT the end of our struggles, our road has been a long and rocky one, but it was the first time we (or at least I) made any real commitment to the idea of family.

I am so grateful for my amazing, intelligent, compassionate, beautiful, strong-willed and God-loving daughter!  She changed my life so dramatically, making the first big cracks in the massive walls of ME, MYSELF and I! Then when I came to Christ, about 4 years ago, I was able to look back and see His work in my life, even when I didn’t acknowledge His existence and that floored me!  That He would be guiding me, making changes I didn’t understand or want, and improving my character and circumstances all before I accepted Him was such a testimony of His love for me, and for all of those who are still lost.

Thank you Lord, for this gift.

Happy birthday to my Morgan.

4 thoughts on “Eleven Years

  1. I’m so glad to have found your blog! I’m inspired by your choice to homeschool the girls and also by the honesty with which you write about it. I’ve been finding myself wrestling lately with my faith and my future and feel like I’m being led to all sorts of places that will help me along in this journey. Thank you.

    And I can’t say enough how beautiful the girls are!
    Diane

    • Thank you so much! I totally get being confused about… well, everything!! Praying for discernment for you. If you ever want to talk PLEASE give me a call 🙂

      And thank you, they look SO much like Kent don’t they??
      Desi

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