Where have I been??

It only took a few months to get totally sidetracked on keeping up with a blog, didn’t I?

I got home from Africa last summer and life just felt different. I hit a long manic period that went well into the fall and was so much less organized with homeschooling than I was last year. I was restless and distracted and we got off to a rocky start.

By the end of October my mood had started to slide and my distraction turned to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. By the holidays my restlessness had become exhaustion, and after the New Year all I could do was cry and sleep.

All this time, I drifted farther and farther away from God, stopping praying because I just didn’t have the words. It became obvious to everyone around me how “off” I was acting and friends started to express their concern. My husband, in particular, was worried and pushed me to call my psychiatrist. Over the last 2 months I’ve been adjusting to new medication and changed dosages and just trying to get back to living.

It’s hard to explain the things I’ve felt and thought all this time, but I will say that it’s really hard to walk through your days feeling like you don’t belong in your own life. I’m grateful to be moving past it and back into a better place.

I could still use some prayers, however, for myself and for all of those who’ve had to suffer with me… Especially my husband and kids.

“My life is an example to many, because you have been my strength and protection. That is why I can never stop praising you” Psalm 71:7-8

2 thoughts on “Where have I been??

  1. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been having such a hard time! I can’t imagine how difficult it is to not feel at home in your own life! I’m glad you feel like you’re moving past this period and I will absolutely be praying for you, Kent and the girls.

    I just listened to a podcast a friend of mine did discussing her experiences with postpartum depressing. One of the points she and the other women on the panel were making is that women can end up feeling isolated, partly because we all do such a good job acting like we’re all doing great. We post cute pics on facebook and tidy up our houses when friends come over but really lots of us just want to scream and cry and say how hard it is. I’m so impressed by your bravery in sharing your struggles. Just today i was thinking about how I need to start up my blog again and how wouldn’t it be nice if I started incorporating a little more emotional honesty into it. Kudos to you, you brave strong woman.

    • Thank you so much for being so sweet. You’re so right about how we portray ourselves, especially on social media, and the reality behind the scenes. I’m going to find the blogs and podcasts you suggested, I love finding new resources 🙂

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