I’m not a failure (despite what my brain tells me)

This week has been overwhelming, exhausting, and otherwise wearying.

It’s my last week of classes this quarter, my days have been filled with trainings and meetings for work, I’ve been on antibiotics for an infection (that I’m pretty sure has morphed into something else??), and I figured out last night that while I’ve been out of pocket my kids have been subsisting on ice cream sandwiches.

So… I’m behind on schoolwork, overloaded on material related to the exploitation of minors, neglecting my own children and my house looks like this:

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It’s really easy to look around and think, “I’m failing. At absolutely EVERYTHING that I’m trying to do.”

In fact, I got in bed last night thinking that very thing. All of these things in my life – seminary, working with Redeemed, homeschooling my kids – are all things that God called me to, but I find myself feeling inadequate; a failure.

We have been ransomed through his Son’s blood, and we have forgiveness for our failures based on his overflowing grace

Ephesians 1:7

I thought about this a lot today as I was returning emails, posting in forums, getting ready for a meeting, picking up around the house and cooking dinner. I realized that my value does not come from how well I am doing at any given moment in time at any given task. My value comes from God, and I am to give him my best. Sometimes my best is going to be messy and disorganized and crazy because I am human, but that’s OK.

He knows my heart, and I am striving for my best.

Ashley Madison, Infidelity, And Why Your Spouse Probably Deserves Your Passwords

A great post by John Pavlovitz on fidelity and trust in marriage.

john pavlovitz

AshleyMadison

The hacking of AshleyMadison and the subsequent release of the personal information of many of its 28 million subscribers is causing violent ripples in homes throughout the world, even as we speak. The website, which caters to married people looking for extramarital encounters and has been compromised by cyber-activists, is now relegated to the role of helpless witness as the names and sordid secrets of its clientele are being broadcast for everyone (including their devastated spouses and families) to see.

It’s a human tragedy on a scale that we probably can’t really calculate with words; not merely the leak itself, but the fact that such a business exists at all and has found such numerous and willing participants. It’s a testament to the complete disregard by so many married people, for those they once vowed devotion to for the remainder of their lives; a frightening sign that Marriage isn’t quite as sacred as many involved have claimed.

As a pastor who has walked families through infidelity and…

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A Little Whimsy

So last week I took a little break from being boring and participated in a scavenger hunt called GISHWHES. Not a complete break… I still had school work and ministry stuff, but I made a commitment to being ridiculous with a friend of mine and it was awesome.

Here are few of the things we got up to!

Vacuuming my lawn, June Cleaver style!
Vacuuming my lawn, June Cleaver style!
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The Flushing Fairy
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On my way to a gala in my construction paper dress!
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A dress made of flowers in the city

We got lots of stares and laughs as we were out doing these and other silly pictures and videos, and it was amazing. We’ll definitely be doing this again next year, and inviting even more friends to participate! 🙂

Have a fun week!!